Children's Safety During Separation

Protecting children during and after separation from an abusive partner, including custody, co-parenting, and school safety.

Protecting children in the immediate crisis

Custody and co-parenting with an abusive partner

Signs children may need additional support

Lesson Outline

Lesson outline

Step 1

Protecting children in the immediate crisis

Step 2

Custody and co-parenting with an abusive partner

Step 3

Signs children may need additional support

Step 4

School and community safety for children

Section 1

Protecting children in the immediate crisis

Take children with you when you leave if it is safe to do so — leaving them behind may make return more likely and put them at risk.
If you cannot take them immediately, document your intention to return for them and contact legal aid as soon as possible.
Brief children on what to do if they feel unsafe — a code word, a trusted adult to go to, and not to share your location with the abuser.
Children should not be used as messengers between you and the abuser — this puts them in a harmful position.

Section 2

You can apply for interim custody orders at the children's court to prevent the abuser taking the children without consent.
Document any incidents where the abuser uses the children to monitor, threaten, or access you — this is relevant to custody proceedings.
All handovers should happen in public places or with a trusted third party present — avoid private handovers.
Legal aid partners can advise on supervised visitation applications where the abuser's contact with children poses a risk.

Section 3

Regression in younger children — bedwetting, clinginess, sleep problems — is a common trauma response.
Older children may withdraw, become aggressive, or show declining school performance.
Children who witnessed violence may have PTSD symptoms — nightmares, hypervigilance, emotional outbursts.
Child counseling is available through some NGOs and health facilities — ask your coordinator or social worker for a referral.

Section 4

Notify the school — in confidence — that the other parent should not collect the children without your explicit authorisation.
Provide the school with a photo of the abuser and names of people permitted to collect the children.
Ask about the school's safeguarding policy and who to contact if the abuser appears.
Avoid sharing children's school location or schedule on social media while a safety risk exists.

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